Day 3, wrote in Day 4

Day 3 still in blue. Since I heard she came back just for him, I feel she deserves him more than I do. Feel a little better. But still miss him a lot. Waking up, wish he could be hugging me, kissing me. So sad, I'm by myself again.
Went to work with QQ on, he was on line. Desperately want to hear his voice, I called him. He sounds a little out of mood. Maybe too much things at the same time, makes him week. I tried to cheer him up: "Everything would be fine". He said:"you sound good". Yes, I'm trying. Don't want to make you feel worried. And I wish I could tell you: Baby, I miss you so much.
Too many depression these day, I need something new to refresh myself. Like iphone 4s or ipad. Kent is sweet enough to offer me a 4s, and he insists 4s not 4, to be honest, I would be happy with 4, since he wants to pre-order for me, i took the offer. Unfortunately, due to the term, I'm not eligible to upgrade till April next year... Sooooooo disappointed. It makes me thinks of him again.难道我这辈子注定得不到他(它)? Whatever, I made my mind to get something new, then I choose ipad. Sweet Kent, give me another full support... $300 in cash and went to apple store with me late night.... I knew I would pay him back in some way or other. With my first apple device in hand, I feel much comfortable. 总是觉得和apple无缘,3年前去香港买macbook就是最好的证明,千里迢迢过去,竟然说断货.不过还好,SONY也挺好用,也是白白的.
记忆和回忆是最美的,也是最痛苦的.早上起来又想到他,上周这个时候,我们还是很快乐的在一起决定要不要去爬山.总是在想傻傻的问题,如果我们真的在一起,肯定幼稚的不行.不过,谁不期望这份单纯而简单的快乐呢?我们都知道,一切不可能了,和他之间总是错位了一点.V回来之前,想他继续暧昧,而我言辞拒绝.如今,真的回来了,他已无暇顾及我,而我却希望留住一切.我们总是一个清醒,一个糊涂.不过也幸好,没有同步.否则,这个错误如何弥补?可是,为何,我们的感情就是错误???费解!
唉,注定我要专心于事业?Jean昨天说要带我去GSO展会.这次就只有她和M去,带上我,压力好大,通常这种时候做得好是应该的,做得不好就记个过.不过,这么好的机会,怎能放过,我也竭力争取.Jean以前就一直说想培养我成为一个能跟随她左右的助手，这次应该是我表现的好机会。另外，就当出去散散心也好,不想在这里触景伤情了.去展会还能多学点东西.看看公司越做越好,也会让我更加投入.我又想到了那句话，男人都是靠不住的，靠自己吧。