人都是有惰性的，包括思念和回忆！时间是良药，让人忘记痛苦，仇恨。抑或是我很不够坚毅？钱说，他认定了一个人就不放弃，直到得到为止。不知道为什么，虽然他说的是对我，可我一点反感都没有，以前如果有人说这样的话，我一定不跟他说第二句话，因为我知道自己想要什么，不是我的初衷的话，没人有那种能力后天改变我的观念。大概是因为，地域的缘故，我觉得没有任何“威胁”。不过，此话虽然是他对我说的，却让我联想起我对peng，我是不是应该有点他的精神啊：）都说女追男隔层纱，为什么不适用于我啊……不知道这算不算一见钟情，如果这只是形容长相的话，我觉得一定不是，可是他却深深地吸引我那么久，一些很内在的东西，让我很依赖的东西！来到美国是为了证明，喜欢你并不是因为你在美国，是为了证明，这一切都是凭我自己的能力可以实现的。可是这一切的一切有什么用呢，有些话，没有说出口就会永远埋在心底。有点后悔，有点不甘，从来没有fail的历史，为什么是我那么在乎的人给我的呢？！没有你和我聊天，美国很空虚，很黑暗，很讨厌！
开始想和你讲话，开始想看以前的照片，开始给自己找种种借口，想修复，可不确定靠我的能力可以修复到什么程度，对你，实在没什么把握！无聊，荒唐，可笑的孩子，好了伤疤忘了痛！道理我都清楚明白，可还是傻傻的希望奇迹的发生！
2010年5月18日星期二
2010年5月15日星期六
2 weeks
转眼上班2周了，是不是虚度的光阴特别快啊，每天朝十晚六（迈阿密的日照太丰富了，什么事都推迟），不过挺喜欢这样的作息，至少可以睡个小小的懒觉，每天充足的8小时睡眠果然不错：）必读书的时候轻松多了，生理和心理上都是，很规律的作息时间。工作量也不大，因为很多和我以前做的有相同之处，上手很快。和上课比起来，没有那么多的homework，group meeting，sweet……老板准备的午餐都让我吃的10分饱，很多时候晚餐都可以skip了。
虽然总体还ok，可是工作前景还是令人堪忧，如果说我来美国是学习国际企业管理经验的话，这个工作是差的太远了，multination big company，puuuf，where is it?!如果在这里有个稳定的男朋友，这样工作我也就安心了，可是有太多其他不定因素，与其坐以待毙，不如先发制人……
虽然总体还ok，可是工作前景还是令人堪忧，如果说我来美国是学习国际企业管理经验的话，这个工作是差的太远了，multination big company，puuuf，where is it?!如果在这里有个稳定的男朋友，这样工作我也就安心了，可是有太多其他不定因素，与其坐以待毙，不如先发制人……
2010年5月3日星期一
First Job
Finally I finished 8 months and half study, that's the most difficult periode in my life, but I'm glad that I made it. Look back, it's tough, but still happy.
Tomorrow I will start my first job in the U.S, I don't know wheather I'm born to be in the tourism industry, I did make some money in China with my hard-working and diligent, and now it seems I will continue to contribute in the same industry but different country. I don't know if I can get work visa, but I do really want to go back to China this fall, coz two of my best friends are getting married and I miss my family. What bother me most is that, if I'm going back to China with my OPT, I may not be able to get visa back to the U.S. If, only if, I'm fortunate enough to get work visa, which is effective from 1st Oct, that would be the best situation. Pray for that.
Personally, I don't care to live in the U.S or not, as long as my mum is happy, I'm fine. Now I have to figure out how to pick her here, to let her experience the life in America, if she really likes here, I have to work hard to make her dream come true. Since I don't have other significant other to consider, things are way easier than the people who have. My friends always said how they admire me, to fulfill my dream, to live in a different life. But they don't know, since I came out, I really want a simple life, a easy happiness.
Wish me good luck, all from tomorrow!!!
Tomorrow I will start my first job in the U.S, I don't know wheather I'm born to be in the tourism industry, I did make some money in China with my hard-working and diligent, and now it seems I will continue to contribute in the same industry but different country. I don't know if I can get work visa, but I do really want to go back to China this fall, coz two of my best friends are getting married and I miss my family. What bother me most is that, if I'm going back to China with my OPT, I may not be able to get visa back to the U.S. If, only if, I'm fortunate enough to get work visa, which is effective from 1st Oct, that would be the best situation. Pray for that.
Personally, I don't care to live in the U.S or not, as long as my mum is happy, I'm fine. Now I have to figure out how to pick her here, to let her experience the life in America, if she really likes here, I have to work hard to make her dream come true. Since I don't have other significant other to consider, things are way easier than the people who have. My friends always said how they admire me, to fulfill my dream, to live in a different life. But they don't know, since I came out, I really want a simple life, a easy happiness.
Wish me good luck, all from tomorrow!!!
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