Sooooo sad

I have been waiting for news from MM for 5 days, though people say "no news is good news", b/c at least you are still in the play ground. Actually I know, the longer I wait, the greater possibility I would hear the bad news. And good news always from the phone, bad one will come from the e-mail. It was all like I expected. I got an e-mail from HR noon yesterday. Open it with full preparation, so I would not cry the moment I see the result. Yes, I didn't cry, sometimes I want to cry, b/c I know I'm very sad, but I don't know why, I can't even squeeze a drop of tear, is it b/c I'm too sad to cry or too breave to cry? Anyway, I was sitting in front of the computer, staring at the screen for a while, without doing anything, thinking :1: is it the revenge? 2 bags of cosmetics exchanged my dream job? If I can choose, everyone knows which I would pick! 2:looking for the job just like looking for the relationship with someone, I loved it sooooo much, spent much time and energy on it, then what did I get---- it picked someone else who might not be capable as I am!!! Yes, there is no room for bargain. You have to take the result. I really don't know which part went wrong, I was preparing hard for interview, and they went well from my perspective. The interviewers like me, but it comes out like this, hard to believe!!!
Lost again, I was preparing the move from the beginning of June, coz I was 80% sure I can get the offer with my hard working and preparation, then everything has to be recaltulating, not that bad, at least I have something to do in Miami, is it that hard for me to get out of this city? Puuuuf, hot girl!!! Ok, my next step: riding the mule while looking for the horse:) Maximize my profit!!!

Second round interview

今天下午3点的面试比周一的正式多了。公司采取4人分成2组，轮番的形式。当然昨天知道这4个人，从yu那里得知他们的职位背景。第一轮是，Laurel和Joseph，问的是一些基本知识，如：为何应聘，对公司业务的了解，以前的工作经历，为什么觉得自己能比别人胜任，计算机知识，对公司所在城市的了解，于是就是瞎扯了miami的一切生活。感觉自己好紧张，他们问的问题我都有准备，纸上写的满满的好几页，不过我说的时候眼睛瞄都没有瞄，长度自然大大缩减，不过感觉都答得可以啦！他们给了我时间向他们提问，感觉好快的，差不多15分钟，和我预期的每组20分钟有点差距，通常多说容易给人留下好的印象，不过也不排除多说多错。第一轮，自我感觉：80。
于是他们说后2个人等下会来，我等阿等，差不多等了5分钟，心想怎么还不来，是不是要我挂了电话，他们过一会会打来，于是挂了，过了3分钟，果然来了，这3分钟我想，唉，假设我不该挂电话，他们要是不打来怎么办？难道要我打回去？还好，瞎操心。打来的是Tony和Greg，不知道不是以前通过电话，还是因为和崎崎同名，觉得放松了很多。还是从客服入手，问了我的一些背景经历，如何达到杰出客户满意度。如何面对无理取闹的客户，还问了Alibaba和百度（还好事先有点准备），Tony对喜马拉雅山真的很向往，周一问了今天又问了。最让我开心地是Tony说了如果公司给出机票问我愿意去面试不？真的问题还要答？不愿意我这么多准备不是白做了？！最后就是静候佳音。
昨天下午接到通知就开始准备，还好现在不用上班，早上起来就铺摊子，桌上，墙上，床上，一切可以利用的地方都用了，希望功夫不负有心人，能让我继续前进！不断面试代表我还活着，一定要笑到最后！到一个有雪的四季分明的城市！

漫长的等待……

话说周一早上和部门主管谈了之后，下午又来一个市场部的中文评估。前者一般啦，后者感觉还不错，更多的像是朋友在聊公司的情况，恨不得招聘的是他：）两个电面后一直没有消息，我等阿等，漫长的过程，持续小小的紧张，在家都把电脑开着，时刻查收email，再下去快神经紧张了！人就是一种随着心理变化调节生理变化的动物，我就是典型中的典型！多几次面试真的人都要瘦一圈。真讨厌这种被动的等待，除了坐着对着电脑，其他无能为力，总不可能跑到公司去和他们谈，该说的我都说了，改写的我都写了，不过还是在想能不能多做点什么？很多事情都是赢在细节，当然不包括多做多错，输在细节。Anyway，还是耐心等待！做什么事都有些牵挂，不能全心投入，除了睡觉，当脑子停下来了，应该就不会想得到回复了吧？可是梦还是会发生……

Job hunting 1

Is it because I'm too desperate to get a job, and previously I almost gave up the depressing US job market, there are some hints of job offfer since last week. Though it's only in the first stage---interview, I still feel happy, at least there are something! To be honest, I have never go through formal interview, the nice job I had in China only through my sweet smile. I didn't really talk to any HR or Wu wei officially. Because I did my intern there, and then they keep me as full time employee. Never think about that my first job interview is in the US! I was a little nervous last night, though I have been preparing talk to the department supervisor for 2 days, still... I did some researches, it's a good company,with development potential, they want to develop Aisan market, good pay,plus they sponsor H1B visa. That's really great! The only thing is that the office is in the city where is kind of rural area for me, only 26,000 people, I bet I can hardly find a Chinese there! But any way, I want to get the offer first. So I got up early this morning, phone interview set at 8:30am, I got up 7am to prepare some infomation I need. I kept notes for 2 pages, some assumption questions I think they might ask! BTW, when perparing the company's info, I read lots of "white paper" and cases, it makes me remember the study I did in last 10 months, really good review. Now interview is kind of test for me! I want to do good at it, though I might not take it at last, get A doesn't hurt :) The supervisor called me at 8:32am, a little time difference is ok. We started by greeting!
The questions are very basic, I feel bad about the question of Mount Everest! He is away from TOPIC, it takes 3 times for me to realize what he is asking!!! The rest of them, I feel ok! But just OK, it really depends on how the other candidates perform.
I was neverous at the begining, as long as we start talking, I felt better. If they could give me an on-site interview, I think I can melt them with my warm personality! During the phone interview, I really feel I'm smiling, hope he could feel that too.
Waiting for the result, and feedback from other on-going interview!

Stuck in between

I really feel I screwed this time, for the money, energy and time I spent on this really sucks. I don't why, I hate u the moment I feel lonely, u are not supposed to give me happiness, though I really need it. Never think about hating someone for the rest of my life, but now I decided to do that, for you, the person I loved most during the past 18 month. I don't think I can do that, since I'm a sweet girl, still I would have a try, Hate you everyday!!1 It's so hard for being alone and flighting. I need some help, need some one's help. Never being passive like this in my whole life (as far as I can remember), maybe too many lucky things, I get whatever I want, whoever I need, never being down to the bottom like this. I hate the life now, I hate myself now. I don't know wheather I can get back to the "shining soul" again, but I do miss that girl! Please let her back, let everybody sees her smile, big big smile melts everyone.......