Scare in the heart

With time passes by, my love is fading. But it still exists, I know somewhere deep in the heart. When we hang out at weekend, I still miss you, still looking for you somewhere in the crowd. When driving home in the middle of the night, I still wish it's you who are controlling the wheel. I could be sitting next to you, leaning on your shoulder. When arriving home at 2am in Sunday morning, I would still wish you could be hugging me to sleep. Can't sleep this morning, though it's 2am+ I miss you. Wish I can pick up the phone and tell you how much I miss you, how much I loved you. I know there are too many regrets in one's life, some people are just not meant to be mine. Wish you the best. I'm positive that shining me would be one of your regrets.

Day 7

一个人的时候，心理还是隐隐会疼。听别人提起你的时候，已经能掩藏的很好。我想我已经差不多恢复了吧。没有别的伤心，只是看你走的那么坚决，头也不回。多一句关心都是敷衍。你最好就和她相亲相爱，白头到老。不然你一定会后悔没有选我，这样爱你的人。从上周开始，我就决定，好好工作，好好减肥。我要做一个事业有成的小美女。一个月后让大家看到一个完全不一样的我。最短时间内，让你后悔。我可以的！

Day 3, wrote in Day 4

Day 3 still in blue. Since I heard she came back just for him, I feel she deserves him more than I do. Feel a little better. But still miss him a lot. Waking up, wish he could be hugging me, kissing me. So sad, I'm by myself again.
Went to work with QQ on, he was on line. Desperately want to hear his voice, I called him. He sounds a little out of mood. Maybe too much things at the same time, makes him week. I tried to cheer him up: "Everything would be fine". He said:"you sound good". Yes, I'm trying. Don't want to make you feel worried. And I wish I could tell you: Baby, I miss you so much.
Too many depression these day, I need something new to refresh myself. Like iphone 4s or ipad. Kent is sweet enough to offer me a 4s, and he insists 4s not 4, to be honest, I would be happy with 4, since he wants to pre-order for me, i took the offer. Unfortunately, due to the term, I'm not eligible to upgrade till April next year... Sooooooo disappointed. It makes me thinks of him again.难道我这辈子注定得不到他(它)? Whatever, I made my mind to get something new, then I choose ipad. Sweet Kent, give me another full support... $300 in cash and went to apple store with me late night.... I knew I would pay him back in some way or other. With my first apple device in hand, I feel much comfortable. 总是觉得和apple无缘,3年前去香港买macbook就是最好的证明,千里迢迢过去,竟然说断货.不过还好,SONY也挺好用,也是白白的.
记忆和回忆是最美的,也是最痛苦的.早上起来又想到他,上周这个时候,我们还是很快乐的在一起决定要不要去爬山.总是在想傻傻的问题,如果我们真的在一起,肯定幼稚的不行.不过,谁不期望这份单纯而简单的快乐呢?我们都知道,一切不可能了,和他之间总是错位了一点.V回来之前,想他继续暧昧,而我言辞拒绝.如今,真的回来了,他已无暇顾及我,而我却希望留住一切.我们总是一个清醒,一个糊涂.不过也幸好,没有同步.否则,这个错误如何弥补?可是,为何,我们的感情就是错误???费解!
唉,注定我要专心于事业?Jean昨天说要带我去GSO展会.这次就只有她和M去,带上我,压力好大,通常这种时候做得好是应该的,做得不好就记个过.不过,这么好的机会,怎能放过,我也竭力争取.Jean以前就一直说想培养我成为一个能跟随她左右的助手，这次应该是我表现的好机会。另外，就当出去散散心也好,不想在这里触景伤情了.去展会还能多学点东西.看看公司越做越好,也会让我更加投入.我又想到了那句话，男人都是靠不住的，靠自己吧。

Day 2

It hurts when I'm conscious. First thing wake up in the morning, I wish it's his call wakes me up instead of the alarm. But it is what it is. Things need to be done. Life has to move on. I wish he could come to visit, but no show. First thing I opened computer in the office is turn on the web QQ, wish he could talk to me, which he did. But from what he said, I know they went back together. Good friend is only the cover of the lie. I know. But still feel heart ache. After that, he called me several time, but I refuse to accept any news except he broke up with her. So sad... But love the weather today. Raining like Jiang nan. I know everything would be better after some days. It only hurts when I'm still living in the past, I know I should move on. Only good thing from this failure is I would work out after work. Half an hour excise would do. I would make to 105g in one month, I believe. And no meet till then.

Day 1

思念泛滥...快受不了,满脑子全是I.从早上他出我家门,他会在做什么,什么时候去接V,接到了他们会说什么,做什么.我真的控制不了我自己不去想他.人就是这么犯贱,没人跟你抢的时候就不正眼看,一旦人家也要,自己也特别喜欢.还好,没有影响我的工作,就是这几天事情太少了,闲下来就不停想他.一到下班时间就潜意识等他电话,回到家躺在床上还是回味他的味道.这是爱情还是习惯?15天就能有如此改变,我也真不知说何是好.今晚,他就要回到名正言顺的女朋友那里,不想想他们会做什么事.只是觉得自己心会很疼.希望是无法愈合的疼,这样就不会有回头的余地.明天会好一点的,他的影子会慢慢淡一点的.