Sooooo sad

I have been waiting for news from MM for 5 days, though people say "no news is good news", b/c at least you are still in the play ground. Actually I know, the longer I wait, the greater possibility I would hear the bad news. And good news always from the phone, bad one will come from the e-mail. It was all like I expected. I got an e-mail from HR noon yesterday. Open it with full preparation, so I would not cry the moment I see the result. Yes, I didn't cry, sometimes I want to cry, b/c I know I'm very sad, but I don't know why, I can't even squeeze a drop of tear, is it b/c I'm too sad to cry or too breave to cry? Anyway, I was sitting in front of the computer, staring at the screen for a while, without doing anything, thinking :1: is it the revenge? 2 bags of cosmetics exchanged my dream job? If I can choose, everyone knows which I would pick! 2:looking for the job just like looking for the relationship with someone, I loved it sooooo much, spent much time and energy on it, then what did I get---- it picked someone else who might not be capable as I am!!! Yes, there is no room for bargain. You have to take the result. I really don't know which part went wrong, I was preparing hard for interview, and they went well from my perspective. The interviewers like me, but it comes out like this, hard to believe!!!
Lost again, I was preparing the move from the beginning of June, coz I was 80% sure I can get the offer with my hard working and preparation, then everything has to be recaltulating, not that bad, at least I have something to do in Miami, is it that hard for me to get out of this city? Puuuuf, hot girl!!! Ok, my next step: riding the mule while looking for the horse:) Maximize my profit!!!